Full Circle
It is as you said. The beacon
from the promontory beyond the wetlands
visits your little room and wakes
a shadow dance along the mantle.
A cut flower artless in a jar. The clock.
A bowl of nectarines. A snap-shot - you and I
ringed in some distant calendar.
And I, and you, love, now in this veering light
have come to terms at last,
each by each forgiven and reprieved.
I cannot say how long the pact will keep.
for now trust only that our mood
has turned full circle - or perhaps
we see where lifetimes of wan hopes
have run aground. I will not ask.
I will dim the lamp and watch
your beauty wrap itself in sleep,
beyond the urge of flesh or gravity,
free from your questing fevers.
The forgotten yet familiar makes us weep -
that blemish in the cusp where neck meets shoulder,
eyelids I somehow never quite believed,
the fragment of my name, the way you stir
and turn and like the beam that sweeps the sea,
beckon and pardon us, and guide us home.

Beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteThe forgotten yet familiar makes us weep -
ReplyDeleteAnd the drops were rolling down my cheeks as I reached the end of this... What greater praise to a writer, than to be told "Your words moved me to tears'...
I fell over the same line as Jinksy.
ReplyDeleteDoctor, this really is one of the good responses to the prompt; there really is too much saccharine in so many of the poems that I was beginning to despair.
I am so glad that you are back.
Doc this is quite breathtaking - the subtle rhyme and connections between stanzas - love it all - but the last stanza melts into my mind....blessings..bkm
ReplyDeleteAwfully -- awfully -- good writing!
ReplyDeleteExcellent post using subtle rhyming, and creating a more fluid magpie! Wonderfully written! =)
ReplyDeleteGorgeous. And this last stanza is just exquisite. What a treat. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteFriko's point is interesting. Perhaps these "challenges" are not necessarily a good thing. On the one hand, they make us write something - always better for writers than writing nothing! But on the other hand, they require us to work very quickly - unless we have something suitable tucked in the desk drawer - as this poem was.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe this is where the saccharine comes in - we fall back on the artificial sweeteners of adjectives and adverbs instead of stirring in "imagery" (posh poetic expression for 'figures of speech', in my view!)
There's another challenge. Go back to the poem and COUNT THEM. The adjs. and advbs., I mean!
Willow, SW ,Berowne, bkm, Friko, Jinksy and Anthony . . . what can I say but heartfelt thanks for your kind (and encouraging) thoughts.
P.S. It earned me nearly £3 a long time ago!
Delicious to read ... just lovely!
ReplyDeleteWonderful!
ReplyDelete(I loved "A cut flower artless in a jar.")
Deborah and Susannah . . thank you.
ReplyDeleteLoved this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Doctor. Natalie Goldberg says we have to dig deep, bypass those first and second thought levels and reach for the fourth and fifth levels of sensory responses. I prefer to let the prompt sink in, many times overnight, come late to the table, but still have something different to offer. You obviously do as well. And although I deeply admire all of this magpie, that last stanza is outstanding,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Exquisite. I think prompts are made for a quick capture but later permit revision to override the speed with which they're hatched. Anyway, this one is absolutely stellar.
ReplyDeletewow...like a beam that sweeps the sea...calling us home...most excellent write...nice magpie!
ReplyDeletelovely just lovely
ReplyDeleteAh, so this is the one that made you famous. I can see why.
ReplyDelete'...lifetimes of wan hopes have run aground..' is one of those perfectly described emotions - a line that goes directly from the brain to the gut.
You are such a good writer, FTSE. I'm always a little taken aback by this other side of you, but exceedingly glad to know it, too.
Thank you all. I try to think down to the fifth level (Natalie Goldberg) and it is gratifying to know that the results seem to please.
ReplyDeleteDeborah . . glad the line stopped there! Often they go from brain to gut and continue on into oblivion . . or somewhere.
Well, hooley dooley, this is fabulous. After reading it I am swathed in velvet and lace. You have transported me to the 19th century. Redolent, lush, with the polish of a classicist.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I can feel the light sweeping through, again and again.
ReplyDelete